BSP. Authors’ Blatant Self Promotion. Does It Work?

Okay, I promised y’all a blog on writing this week, although I’ll tell you I’d rather be writing a Maureen-Dowd type column for the New York Times simply because you get to make fun of the president. Oh, wait! I did that already. BUT I’m not Maureen and I’m not likely to be and I’m a little distracted anyhow because I’m packing right now for a cruise sorta kinda around or on the Australian Coastline with Count Babbalallapaloozo, someplace like that anyway, and I’m in a frenzy over what to take along this time. (My new rhinestone snorkling mask? The faux snakeskin fitted-to-THERE capris?) Ah, why not? Yes to both. Definitely.

Anyhow, since I promised, I thought I’d take a few minutes to chat with you about author promotion. Although understand, I’m not the expert here, Beth is, but she’s busy sweeping cobwebs out of the corners now that she’s finished with her manuscript revision, so I guess you’ll have to put up with me today. Oh, wait! I forgot. You ALWAYS have to put up with me on this blog. Well, them’s the breaks, kid. (Did Bogart say that?)

Back to business. (OMIGOD, I just remembered, I can’t wear spike heels on board, don’t let me forget that! Last time I showed up for a cruise with nothing but spike heels, EVEN my favorite pink and leopardskin sling heels, which The Count loves me in, he made me go barefoot the whole time until we reached Italy where he did, at least, buy me a dozen pairs of gorgeous Italian handmade low, soft heeled shoes. I only hope I can find them.)

Anyhow. What were we talking about? Oh. Promotion. Okay, what works? What doesn’t?

Here’s the deal. I read an awful lot of author newsletters and lists and this discussion goes on and on all the time. I see people asking, “What about handing out pens and bookmarks and postcards and buttons with my cover on them to everyone I see? Does that work? Will that make them want to buy my book?”

Well, from what I’ve seen in answers on lists like that, the answer seems to be no, it won’t MAKE them want to buy your book. Most people, when questioned, will tell you they rarely buy a book because they received a bookmark or a postcard or a pen. Some might. Most, no.

BUT what it might do, and I emphasize MIGHT, is cause them to remember, in the deep, dark recesses of their minds, where they also keep their grocery lists, your name when they walk through a bookstore. Usually only if the book is right there in front of them, though. They might not remember WHERE they saw the name, but they MIGHT think, I’ve seen that name before and that MIGHT make them open the book and take a look. The rest depends on what they’re looking for, as well as your book. Either they want that one or they don’t. It’s just a fact.

There’s another side to that, however. When one of our (way) earlier books, ALL THAT GLITTERS, came out, Beth had 6,000 gold (the gold was my idea) and black bookmarks made. She bundled them up in little rubber bands about 5 or 6 to a bundle and sent them to Katherine Falk (Romantic Times Book Club). Katherine, for a basically minor amount of money (compared to the co$t of the bookmark$), sent them out to bookstores and libraries all over the country AND Canada and maybe other places, I don’t know for sure where all they went.

I do know they went to Canada because shortly after that, we were in Vegas at a large publishing convention and when I (y’all remember it’s always me at these things, don’t you, because Beth’s VERY shy?) was sitting at a table having breakfast with about a dozen nice ladies, and told them our name and our book title, two librarians from Canada remembered our name because of the bookmarks. So name identification did happen there. I have no idea what happened to the other 5,998 bookmarks, other than I’m sure they were sent out by Ms Falk. She did her job. I did mine by going to the conference. I don’t know what Beth did, other than write the book.

The point I’m making there is, if you’re going to do bookmarks, postcards, pens, all those small things, do something intelligent with them. Make SURE they go to your target audience. There’s no point in handing them to anybody and everybody because by and large, you’re going to have very little return for your money. Try to target your goodies where they’ll do the MOST good.

Another example: Sloane Taylor, who was one of my earlier blog interviews, has a four-book series set in Germany. She sent a slew of pens to a conference being held IN Germany. THAT’S targeting your audience, very smart of her.

How about going to writers’ conferences every other month or so? Will that work?

It’ll work as far as making yourself known to conference-goers and you might sell some books. I say some. Probably not a lot. Even Joe Konrath will tell you that. You’ll make friends, you may create a buzz within the writing community, you will almost certainly get your name out there a little more than it would have normally. BUT there’s a whole world out there of people who never go to those conferences. In fact, most of the world doesn’t even know about them. In the meantime, you’re spending a whole lot of money for very little return–AT the moment.

BUT. It does help people in the industry know your name and what you write, and you never can tell what that may lead to. Case in point: a long while back, our Harlequin Superromance, COUNT ON ME, was sold fairly quickly after I attended an RWA conference because I met Harlequin’s head editor at the time there and I was agreeable to Beth’s making some revisions on that book, which was sitting on THAT editor’s desk that very day.

My point is, you never know what wonderful thing will happen because you went to a writers’ conference, so if you can afford it, go. This doesn’t count as promotion though, unless you have a book already out and you’re going to be presenting a workshop.

THAT will almost always sell some books, the simple act of getting up there and presenting a workshop to an audience. Do a good job, don’t drool or pick your nose while you’re up on the podium, try not to faint, be very nice, be friendly, convince them that you know what you’re talking about, and chances are, quite a few WILL buy your book.

BUT. Remember this. If it costs you $1,500 to attend a conference, including airfare and hotel, etc. and you only sell a few books, it may not be cost effective at that moment IF you’re mainly thinking about selling books. If you can afford to spend the money by betting on your future, by all means do so. If you can’t, think about it first before you hock your house. There are pros and cons to every step you take, so pick your pros wisely. I would also add that in my opinion–and it’s an educated, experienced one–to a brand new writer of any kind of womens’ fiction, not only romances, RWA national (and/or local) is one of the best conference opportunities in the universe because of what you’ll learn there. If you’re writing mystery or suspense, there are tons of wonderful conferences out there for you.

AND there’s something else, while I’m talking about the value of presenting workshops at conferences:

The BEST way, again in my opinion, to actually sell books is personal contact. Whether it’s hand-writing the postcards you send out, or dropping into a bookstore or library and introducing yourself and your book, EVEN if it’s going out to where the jobbers (those are the guys who deliver and place your books in the bookstores) load their trucks, taking them brownies and introducing yourself, it’s the personal contact that makes the biggest difference. Later on in this diatribe you’ll find a brilliant example of exactly that.

One of the best ways I know of to really promote your books is for you to make sure you target libraries and bookstores. Not only the big ones, but the smaller independents too. If I had a large amount of money to spend on promotion, I would make sure I sent an ARC or the book, plus a promo folder, to every single independent book seller and library in the United States. My reason?

THEY DEAL EVERY DAY WITH YOUR TARGET AUDIENCE. They know what sells and if they like your book, which, if you send it to them as a gift, chances are they’ll at least read it, and if they like it they’ll order more for their customers and they’ll hand-sell it. That’s no small thing, so don’t forget your local independent bookstores.

I’ll probably never have that kind of money to use for promotion (unless I can convince The Count to sell one of his yachts and hand the money over to me.) Meantime, my game plan is to at least start at the local and state level. Get the actual book or ARC out to them as early as you can. And then follow up with a phone call or personal visit.

Joe Konrath, author of the Jack Daniel mystery series, just this past summer did what most authors only dream of doing. He spent his entire summer driving, at his own expense, to every bookstore he could possibly get to across the country. I don’t know how many he visited, signing in some places, just talking to the owner and sales staff in others, but you think for one minute his next book isn’t going to outsell almost every other book out there? No way! He’s one of the smartest people I know of on book promotion. Go check him out at: http://www.joekonrath.com/ . You’ll find a LOT more promotional advice there. You don’t have to listen to me, but for sure you want to listen to Joe. He’s the smartest Book Promotion Guru you’ll ever meet.

Back to packing for my Australian cruise with Count Babbalallapaloozo now. Hmmm…I’m wondering…ya think he’d like the black spandex capris with the red feathered top, or should I pack the purple and turquoise and orange sequinned top? I can’t decide. I suppose I’d better take both…

Love y’all, and come back again soon, ya hear me?
Hotclue Herself

Reality Check: Get ‘er Done!

This will be a short one this week. I’m tearing my hair out because I’m dying to go off on a cruise on Count Babbalallapaloozo’s yacht, off the coast of Greece. But I can’t yet (insert loud, whining sound bite here), because Beth Anderson, who thinks I’m her alter ego but in reality, she’s mine (don’t tell her, she lives in her own dream world) is working on revisions for THE SCOUTMASTER’S WIFE and she won’t let me out of the house until they’re finished. She’s three quarters through it at this point, and even then she’ll have to go back through it again and do some cutting. We know this. It’s a given.

Well, hurrah for her, but I wanta go play. However, Beth’s mantra at the moment is, Hots, I don’t give a damn how much you love Greek food and that Italian wierdo you hang with, you’re not leaving this house. We’ve GOTTA Get ‘er Done!

Which brings me to my pep talk, written especially for new writers.

Here’s how you do it if you’re really serious, if you dead-on want to get published and stay published.

No writing tips today, this is a publishing reality check. And the reason for this reality check is, when you’re trying to get published, you need to do several things to get yourself prepared and into the mindset of a professional writer.

First. Understand that after you’ve spent 5,000,000 light years spinning your wheels trying to get that first book published, during which time you might have no clue how long it’s going to take–and it always takes longer than you thought–if you stay with that publisher you’ll most likely be able to sell on a partial from then on.

IF you sell on a partial, you have to know realistically how long it’ll take you to get your current book done, because the due date is going to be in the contract, thus giving birth to the phrase, “deadline hell”.

So. Realistically, factoring in all the other things you have to do in the course of your daily life, how long WILL it take you? Not how long CAN it take you, because remember, you’re going to contract on how long it’ll be before you WILL turn the book in, and this is not going to be some vapor-date, negotiable at will. (Barring real-life emergencies, which do not include that spontaneous two-week trip to the beach with your pals.)

Anyhow. Here’s how you do it: Take the number of pages you want your book to be. How do you know? Well, what publishing house are you aiming for?

If it’s a category romance publisher, you should already know how many pages are in their books. Each printed book page is approximately a manuscript page and a half. I’m saying approximately, I don’t have time to look it up exactly right now, you do that, it’s your book.

Even if it’s not category, you should still have a general idea approximately how long you want your manuscript to be. If you have no idea, get an idea, quick. Ask questions or you’ll find yourself spinning your wheels for eternity and you’ll wind up with an eleven hundred page manuscript that nobody will touch. Yes, even though you’ve sweated your little heart out for five years, they still won’t touch it. So find out what a realistic page count for your type of book would be, and try to hold it down to that. Cutting your adverbs and adjectives will help, as one clue anyhow.

Okay. You want, say, a four hundred page finished manuscript, which will produce about a three hundred page finished book in print.

Four hundred pages. That’s not a lot, right?

Well, it depends. How many pages WILL you write in one week?

Not CAN, or CAN MAYBE, but WILL. Remember, this is going into a contract, a legal document. So, based on how many pages your book will be, divide it by the number of weeks you’ll have to work on it. That gives you how many pages you have to produce every week. Note I said HAVE TO. That’s a pitfall far too many new authors never even think about.

So it’s in your best interest to find out how many pages you are willing to produce a week long before you sign that contract.

I can tell you, once you’ve signed that contract on a partial, you have to give up a lot. So realistically, be prepared for the fact that your time is no longer yours when you’re under contract to finish a book.

The time to prepare for that is NOW.

Approach it like the million dollar industry it is, folks, because that’s what it is. Probably not your million dollars, but that’s what’s riding on authors producing what they’ve said they will, when they said they will.

When Beth (the nag, one of the nicer names she’s referred to by her crit partners) started her first book, which became a Harlequin Superromance, she figured out FIRST that it would run about four hundred manuscript pages.

Now here’s the kicker, and I want you to pay attention here: She wasn’t even contracted then, but she treated that entire book as if she WERE contracted. That’s what I mean about adjusting your mindset.

If you think you will, you will. If you think maybe you will, chances are you won’t, at least where writing a book is concerned, because surprise! It’s damned hard work.

But that’s how you have to think. Write it as if you’re already under contract, even if you aren’t. If you can actually adjust your mindset like that right from the git-go, and you can, you’re not going to spend years screwing around with one chapter, which some do. But they’re not published and probably never will be. They have yet to say, “I WILL do this!” and mean it. And then do it.

Okay, you’re under contract, even if it’s only in your mind. How long do you have? Six months? A year? The number of pages you force yourself to finish each week come hell or high water (pardon the cliche) will determine whether you’re going to reach that goal or not.

Beth didn’t wait till she was under contract, she started out like that. She soon found out that she could finish one fifteen page chapter a week IF she worked every night during the week and a lotta hours over the weekend. At that point, she was unsure of a lot of things, but she did find out, by sticking to it, that she could, which rapidly turned into would, finish one chapter a week, including editing. So she knew almost from the git-go what she WOULD do.

You have to know something else: Other things happen after you turn in what you think is your publishable book.

For instance, editorial revisions, sometimes agent-requested revisions, all of which can add considerably to the time it’s going to take to actually finish the book.

YOUR job is to know how many pages a week you WILL write in order to finish the book you’re working on now.

CAN or MAYBE YOU CAN v/s WILL.

Will makes all the difference in the world.

Ta ta for now, I hear Beth screaming–er-uh-calling. Gotta go, we’re finishing our revisions and then I can go play. Although, curse the luck, I hear her, over there in the corner, muttering about our next book…omigod. There she goes again…

Love y’all, write on, and come back real soon, ya hear me?
The Hotclue

A Portrait of Dorien Grey

Being serious for a change, today’s blog is an interview with Dorien Grey, the pen name of one of the very best, most solid mystery authors I’ve ever come across. We’ve been friends for a long time now and I want to introduce him to those of you who may not have heard about him and read his books. You’ve been missing a great read if you haven’t. To those of you who do know him, perhaps you’ll get to know him a little better today.

Dorien’s website is at http://www.doriengrey.net

Dorien, tell us a little about your background in the writing field.

I was, of course, a prodigy. My first literary effort, at the age of between 4 and 5, and dictated to my private secretary (my mom) was a gripping ode to cowboys, the last line of which was “And the cowboys yelled ‘Whoopee’ and everything else.” And from that auspicious beginning, I’ve never turned back.

I spent most of my professional life as a book and magazine editor in Chicago and Los Angeles, and though I’d been writing in one form or another all my life, didn’t publish my first novel until 2001.

To date, I have eleven books in publication with a twelfth due out shortly, one making the rounds, and another in the computer.

I didn’t realize, although I should have because I started reading your books in 2003, that your first book was only published five years ago. That’s phenomenal, considering how good the series started out. Tell our readers today about your Dick Hardesty series, all of which I’ve read and loved. What’s going on with it?

Ah, the Dick Hardesty series. After ten books and an increasingly strained relationship with my publisher, who does not believe in the concept of monogamy for gay men, I was informed that I was being “untrue” to “real gay men,” thereby implying, obviously, that I could not possibly be a gay man, and that they therefore would publish no more of the series, despite a solid and growing reader base and the fact that four of the ten books were finalists for a Lambda Literary award.

So we parted ways amicably, and I am forever in GLB’s debt for giving me a start when the bigger houses would not give me the time of day.

I was subsequently told numerous times that for a publisher to pick up the continuation of a series begun by another publisher simply is not done–which, if true, would mean the series would end with book #10, The Paper Mirror—itself a Lambda Award finalist.

But I am far too fond of Dick, Jonathan, and the gang to let them go quietly into that good night. Despite the odds, I am writing Book #11 of the series and will do my best to find a publisher for it.

So am I. I love them all and I’d really hate to see that series end. What are you working on now ?

I currently have a new, non-Dick Hardesty mystery making the publisher rounds and hope to find a home for it before long. It’s a parapsychological mystery I hope my readers will enjoy. I also am awaiting the release of the print version of my western romance adventure/mystery, Calico, which has been considerably rewritten from its e-book version, still also available.

Your blog is about your experiences in the Navy. Tell us about it, what years it covers, and what you hope to accomplish with it.

Since I was very, very young I have been obsessed with the passage of time and with the knowledge that there will come a day, fight it though I may, when I will no longer be here. Writing is my attempt, if not for immortality, at least to leave a bit of myself behind for as long as my words exist somewhere. When I entered the Naval Aviation Cadet program after my sophomore year in college (to take advantage of the G.I. Bill, which was set to expire the following January), I decided to leave a written record of the experience via letters home to my parents. The end result is my blog, A World Ago. The url to my blog is http://www.doriengrey.blogspot.com

I entered service in August of 1954 and was, thanks to a few built-in loopholes in the system, honorably discharged in August of 1956. I have, I think, close to if not well over 200 letters which are, in effect, a trip through time. Every single word of every letter was put down, one after the other, on a then-blank piece of paper, and I hope the reader gets that feeling as he/she reads them.

These aren’t, as I’ve said, your average ‘I am fine. How are you?’ letters. They chronicle my time as a Naval Aviation Cadet with all the triumphs and trials attendant thereto, follow the details which led to my dismissal from the program, and progress through my being put aboard the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Ticonderoga for an eight month tour of the Mediterranean at the height of the cold war. The reader is right there with me through it all, including my adventures in Naples, Rome, Paris, Cannes, Nice, Athens, Barcelona, Sicily, Rhodes, Istanbul, and the once-beautiful Beirut, which was known at the time as the Paris of the Middle East. Letters from Beirut detailing my visits with an American family also mention the even-then fermenting troubles between Israel and Palestine.

And while I hated the Navy while I was in it, I later realized it was a fascinating time filled with unforgettable experiences for which I shall always be grateful. I hope those who follow along (I add a new letter to the blog every day…to start at the beginning, you must go back through the archives to the first letter and then move forward) will share some of the same feelings.

The purpose of A World Ago is twofold: I wanted to share my adventures with others and hope that, by getting to know me through my long-ago letters, those who follow the blog will be more inclined to read my books if they’ve not already done so.

I hope so! When you were in the Navy, did the powers that be know you were gay?

Oh, dear Lord, no! Had they known I was gay, or had I been accused of it, I would have been thrown out instantly, either with a “Dishonorable” or “Undesirable” discharge. Few people have any real knowledge of the number of decent, loyal, honorable men and women thrown out of the various services for the unforgivable “crime” of being gay. Such untenable bigotry shames our nation.

You mentioned to me the other day that when you were in the Navy they found out about one of your buddies. What year was that, and what happened to him?

I mention it in one of the letters (actually, I mention two incidents, at different times) which will be coming up when the letters reach into 1956 (we’re in May of 1955 at the moment) but do not go into details which, briefly, were these:

I worked in the commissary office of the Ticonderoga. One of our bakers was a sweet but not overly bright kid named North, who for some reason always reminded me of the Pillsbury Dough Boy. One morning, while we were in the middle of the Mediterranean, North did not show up for work. He had simply disappeared without a trace. No one ever knew what had happened to him until some time later when we pulled into Naples. Suddenly, there was North, gathering his belongings. I discovered that the day he disappeared, the ship’s Personnel Officer, a prissy little nelly queen who I could have spotted as being gay halfway across the hangar deck…but he wore a wedding ring and therefore was above suspicion…called North to the Personnel Office and told him that “a homosexual” had been discovered in Norfolk and had given North’s name as someone with whom he had sex. “Now, we don’t want to do anything against you,” he assured North, “but if you’ll just sign this paper, we’ll have evidence against him.”

Dear, sweet, naive North signed the paper and he was flown off the ship in the middle of the night, lest he contaminate the crew.

Does this still happen in the service today?

Tragically and astoundingly, yes. Every day. Last year over 700 men and women, in this day of “don’t ask, don’t tell” were driven out of the military. There is no end.

How old were you when you realized you were gay? Did you fight it, or accept it from the beginning? How difficult was it for you, or was it difficult, given the mood of the country at that time?

Though I did not know the words or what they meant, I knew who and what I was by the time I was five years old. (There are gay children, and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.) And never, for one single instant of my life, have I ever doubted who or what I was or that I had every right to be who and what I am. It did and does not matter what the world thought or what the world thinks. I am me, and no one can take that away.

How old were you when you finally came out to your family and friends? Did any of them give you a bad time about it, or were they all pretty cool?

I never had to come out to my friends, many of whom—especially from college on—were gay themselves. Of those who weren’t gay, they knew without being told. And anyone who might have disapproved were never friends to begin with.

I was blessed to have incredibly wonderful parents. They were not saints, but flawed human beings like everyone else, yet they loved me unconditionally from the moment I was born until the moment they died. Though they knew full well I was gay almost as long as I did, we never discussed it openly until I was in my early 30s, after breaking up with a long-time partner (with whom I am still friends). My entire family…cousins, aunts and uncles…have always accepted me totally, and always welcomed my partners into their homes and their own families as though we were any other couple, and therefore I have been spared much of the heartache and rejection so many gays and lesbians have to endure from those people they love and who are supposed to love them.

You were lucky to have parents like that. I love that your mother sat and played word games with you! How has being gay affected your life, overall?

That is a very difficult question to answer. Being gay is as much a part of me as having brown eyes. It simply is, and it has fundamentally shaped everything I do, everything I write, and everything I am. Am I “proud” to be gay? Are you “proud” to have brown (or blue or green) eyes?

Do you feel there’s still, today (or again, today) a backlash against gay literature?

Unfortunately, yes. Part of it is totally understandable. Gay literature tends to deal with an entire social spectrum that is unfamiliar to most people. It is very similar to the reaction to “black” literature, or “hispanic” literature, or the literature of any minority. And then, of course, there are those who dare to presume to speak for God, and who are themselves unspeakable.

But though I write of gay characters in gay surroundings, what I try very hard to do is to show the reader willing to take a chance with one of my books that these are human characters in human surroundings, and that those things which unite us are far more common and infinitely more important than those things which divide us. To let fear or ignorance or baseless, passed-down bigotries prevent someone from recognizing these similarities is truly sad.

And that, in a nutshell, is what I love so much about your books. It’s clear we’re more alike than some think and your books show that. Have you ever thought about writing a non-gay themed fiction novel?

Frankly, no. There are more than enough heterosexuals out there far better qualified to do so than I. I suppose I could write a non-gay-themed fiction novel if I wanted to…but why would I want to? (”But you could make so much more money writing for the mainstream.” Well, I do write for the mainstream—that’s my whole point. I love money, but I always take Polonius’ advice to Laertes to heart: “To thine own self be true…”)

What’s your all-time favorite book (from other authors)? Did it influence you to become a writer?

The one book that always comes to mind as having had the strongest influence on my writing is not, as I probably should say it was, one of the great classics of literature. It was a simple, hilarious little book by Robert Lewis Taylor written in the late 1940s, called Adrift in a Boneyard. I have read it more than a dozen times, I’m sure, and have loved its humor and its style every single time.

I can understand that. When I was twelve I read John O’Hara’s Come Fill the Cup, and even then I loved his clean, spare style and I’m sure it influenced my own writing. So Dorien, what’s your all-time favorite movie?

It would be impossible to name only one. Bambi, E.T., Schindler’s List, Close Encounters of the Third Kind…any movie that grabs you by the heart and leaves you with hope.

Your all-time favorite song?

Kate Smith singing God Bless America, perhaps? Anything by Tchaikovsky or the great romantic composers. Full, rich orchestrals that again pick you up and raises you above everyday life for a moment. Have I mentioned that I am one of the last of the die-hard romantics?

Your blog is fascinating, rich in world history. What do you think was the most important lesson you learned while serving our country and do you think the general mood of our men and women in the service today is the same?

That’s very kind of you to say. The most important thing I learned while in the service was that we can be a far better people than we are. I think altruism and patriotism and a belief in goodness and justice are far more than platitudes, but that they are treated far too often as though that’s all they were. Men and women today are dying to protect what they believe in their hearts to be right and good. That they are sent to die in hopeless money-driven wars by petty little men who do not have the balls to change places with them and take up arms themselves is an unfathomable tragedy.

Do you think the general mood of the country about the world situation we’re in is the same as when you were a young man?

It was, truly, a very different world. It was far easier to say “this is right” and “this is wrong.” The lines between “good” and “bad” were far more distinct. Today’s world has become a kaleidoscope of shades of grey. And there are far too many of us, with more every second. One maniac, one serial killer, one terrorist in a hundred people was bad enough in a world of 3 billion people. But in a world of 6 billion, which we are approaching today….

Your blog and your books are brilliantly written, with warm, believable characters and situations. I’ve never read one of your books where I came across anything that made me think, “Oh, come on, how far-fetched is THAT,” as I do sometimes with other authors’ books. Yours are totally reasonable and fun to read. Are your books a composite of people and situations you’ve known, or do you invent most of them?

Again, thank you! Of course my books are composites of people and places I’ve known (or read of, or imagined) and situations I’ve experienced in reality or in dreams. But most important of all, I truly feel that, to me, the people in my books, no matter where they came from or upon whom they might be based, are real. They truly exist for me in some alternate universe that exists between the lines and behind the pages of every book. And if I can convince a reader to feel the same way, I’ve accomplished something.

When did you realize you were destined to be a writer? What happened to punch that home?

I think one of the reasons I write…one of the reasons I have always written…is because I do not like reality. It is far too cruel and restrictive and capricious. After my cowboy poem, I went on, in third grade, to write a sporadic “Newspaper”… The Bugville News, in pencil, which I would pin to the front door of the Harry Morris School in Rockford, Illinois. In a way, I’m still writing it.

Another common bond! My very first gig, other than the love stories I wrote for my friends, was as a reporter on my junior high newspaper. Strangely enough, I did the gossip column. I’m not sure my mother even knew about it, but how did your family feel about you becoming a writer?

My mother was responsible for urging me to express my imagination; to make up stories; to read as many books as I could get my hands on. We would play “Dictionary”, wherein one of us would open the dictionary to a page at random, close our eyes, and point to a word. Whoever could define that word won. How can one possibly express how profound an influence one’s parents have? My father often disagreed with things I did, choices I made, etc. But never for one instant did I doubt that he loved me with all his heart, as did my mother.

What do you think is the biggest problem authors face today?

The primary one is, as it always has been, endemic: finding a publisher. Regrettably, people just don’t read as much as they once did, so there are fewer readers out there and fewer publishers willing to take risks. The higher cost of books has a negative impact on readership, as well.

What do you want your tombstone to say—although no time soon, I hope.

The one I’d really like has already been taken: “As you are now, so once were we: as we are now, so shall you be.” So I have a couple alternatives: “He tried.” or maybe “Come sit and talk to me.”

Are you EVER going to write a book that revolves around Tondelaya O’Toole, one of the most loveable, colorful characters I’ve ever read about in any book? I LOVE him!

I’m so glad you like “T/T”…I do too. He’s a tremendously strong character. But I think building an entire book around him would be like serving a meal with too much salt. Still, I won’t rule anything out.

Is there anything else you’d like to say to your readers, or prospective readers, or young authors just starting out?

To those who have read some or all of my books, I’d like to say thank you for your support, and hope we can enjoy each other’s company for many books to come. I am nothing without you.

To prospective readers, I offer a chance to explore a non-threatening world with which you might not yet be familiar, but which is populated with real people you can care for and around whom you can feel at home.

And for not yet published authors, one simple word of advice: it’s not how many times you’re knocked down that matters…it’s how many times you get up.

Thank you, Hotclue/Beth.

You’re so welcome, my friend. Come back and chat any time.

Love and smoochies to y’all on this blistering hot Saturday American morning. I hope it cools off wherever you are today. Count Babbalallapaloozo asked me if I’d like to fly to Minnesota with him today, erroneously thinking it might be cooler there. I told him the last time I pulled that shot it was hotter there than it was here. I’m staying in today with Beth, thankyouverymuch, and helping her with revisions. God knows she needs all the help she can get, but come back soon, ya hear me? You never know what you’re going to find me up to, here on Hotclue Live!

Hotclue Herself

Play It Again, Sam!

A friend recently asked me, “What do I do when I disagree with my editor’s revision requests?”

Sigh…

There are several things you learn pretty quickly when you get into the novel writing business, if you want to STAY in the novel writing business. Let me count the ways (with abject apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning):

1. First, you’ve gotta lose the attitude and the ego-trip you’re on right now because you sold a book, especially when you’re dealing with your editor or agent. (Family and friends are fair game, at least until one of them mops up the floor with your mouth or jams the ten thousandth promo item you’ve been bombarding them with, straight up your–oops, forgive me, I almost forgot this is normally a G-rated blog.)

Agents and editors talk to each other and word will get around fast if you’re dubbed The Author From Hell. You don’t want that baggage following you around, trust me, you don’t, so play nice. You might as well, because they have all the good cards.

2. There are almost always going to be revisions of one kind or another if you have a good editor (or if you’re lucky, often a good agent). Contrary to what your ego has been beating into your head for several months (or maybe years), almost no book written is so perfect that it can’t benefit by having something written differently. A lot of how you handle this depends on your attitude. You can make it fun, and learn a ton from doing it, or you can make it hell for everyone concerned. You get to choose.

3. Most of the time revisions are not up for discussion. These people are giving you money up front (if you’re dealing with a traditional publisher) to give them a publishable book. Once they’ve made that investment, the book is no longer yours. Surprise! It’s theirs! (Another big surprise: It’s theirs even if they didn’t give you money up front but you signed a contract.) If they ask you to revise something, you have to do it or give them back their advance money (or contract) because it’s not really *your* money until their final acceptance of your final product.

The manuscript you originally sold them is usually not going to be your final product no matter how many times you’ve re-written it before they bought it, no matter how many printers you’ve worn out re-printing it, no matter how many reams of paper and containers of toner you’ve used on it, no matter how many friends and family have read it and loved it.

So if they give you money at the git-go, if you have any misconceptions at all that your will is going to prevail over theirs, you’d better not spend a dime of your advance yet, because you may be giving it back. Again, it’s up to you.

4. Revisions can be fun. The truth is, I like doing revisions better than I like inventing the original book. I’ll explain why below. Nah, on second thought, I’ll explain why right now.

Forgot to add this the other day when I first posted. Blame it on a huge gas explosion in my brain. The really good thing that happens when you have to revise–for instance, changing a whole scene in some way, or adding more scenes for a character you originally felt wasn’t all that important–is that it forces you to accept possibilities that you hadn’t thought of until an editor or agent–who DOES see the possibilities–pointed them out to you. This is the real value of revising your book. The sum of its parts becomes multiplied. Revisions add layers that weren’t there before. That’s the main part I love about revising. You have a second chance to enhance your book.

Also, one of the things you learn is that at the beginning of any association which may generate a fair amount of money for all parties concerned, editors and some agents generally like to have a little input into the process. It makes the book feel a little more like theirs, therefore they have a vested emotional interest in it. Here’s a thought: There’s a world of difference between an editor who loves your book and will go to the ends of the earth to help you promote it, and an editor who grudgingly allows you a few minutes of her time and then lets your book tank because she doesn’t care one way or the other. So the smart thing to do is, let her feel like part of the process. If she wants revisions, give them to her.

And here’s another thing to consider. As someone smarter than I said, this is not rocket science. It’s a book. Face it. It’s just a book. Not your baby, your own flesh and blood that you’re going to hold and nurture for the next eighteen years, going goo goo over it the whole time, so don’t let your attachment to it run away with your common sense. It’s a book. The world’s full of books. If you’re lucky, yours will be among them.

5. Revisions can also be excruciating. Yes they can. You had one concept. They have another. Remember the money they gave you? Guess what. Their idea will prevail.

After my very first mainstream novel sale, I learned that the fast-moving suspense I had submitted was not really what the publisher wanted. What they really wanted was a glitzy lifestyle, a heroine who was working in an industry heretofore dominated entirely by men, and they wanted her to age eleven years throughout the duration of the book. They chose the book I submitted because they could see I was already a strong writer and most of it was fine. They just had a different vision than I had for the last third of the book, that’s all.

Now. The hard part, for some. A lot of authors would go up in smoke at the very idea of compromising the integrity of their heroine and her lifestyle, as well as thousands of other reasons why new authors protest changes requested by the publishing house. And a lot of authors are still unpublished because of that unprofessional attitude. But it’s your choice.

I figured out fast that my editor was a lot smarter than I, and I wanted to change that equation some if I could, so I sat down and learned how to revise a novel that I loved as it was, but which now belonged to someone else. Another surprise: In doing so, I learned how to write a publishable mainstream novel. Imagine that. I learned how to pace from that editor. I learned how to insert scenes, move them around, age a heroine, keep a hot love affair going for eleven years. I can’t begin to tell you what all I learned from revising that novel. It was an education in itself, the same as when I wrote my first romance and had to do revisions there, too. You can’t BUY a writing school like that, and I knew it. So I did it, and I learned.

With each book I’ve written I’ve learned something new. How to avoid that middle of the book sag when you think everything’s going straight down the tube and can’t figure out how to haul it back up. How to pull out emotions much, much deeper than you ever imagined were there. What I mainly learned, though, was (and is) that editors and agents know what sells, while authors don’t. We don’t, not really.

Some write to the market, always a mistake because the market changes so quickly and there you are, left with last year’s flighty chick lit heroine who mainly only thought about her next pair of Manolos, which has changed substantially by now, or maybe last year’s serial killer with first-person murder scenes so ugly that the first time one came out and was successful, there was a big rush by the industry to find more of them, but now, if you watch the big email lists, there’s a backlash against that now, so to sell one, it had better be great. Or maybe last year’s Nascar romance. But that was last year, when they were selling to the publishers and are just beginning to come out now. Next year, when your book comes out, they might not be. Then again, they might. I don’t know and neither do most authors. We’re not the ones looking at the stats day by day, trying to figure out what to look for in a hot new book. That’s a crapshoot, and guess what. The publishers hold the dice.

Some brand new authors write a book, think it’s a masterpiece, and then find out their entire manuscript is riddled with grammatical errors they never spotted, and they didn’t know until someone told them. If they’re lucky, at least one of their rejections will point those kinds of problems out, and they’ll listen and fix them. If not…well, you know.

My point (and, as Ellen DeGeneres says, I do have one), is that people intimately connected with the publishing industry pretty much know what they think will sell to their customers. That’s one reason why the category romance industry has such strict guidelines, in case you were wondering. They know for sure what their readers want, and they’re going to give it to them or else face losing a lot of money. So when category publishers ask for revisions, there’s no compromise. You have to give them what they want.

The same is pretty much true of other publishing houses. They have a pretty good handle on what their customers want, and if you’ve noticed the termination of certain lines or types of book sales recently, it’s because they they see the stats and we don’t. So the same is going to be true of mainstream publishers. They know what they’ve just published and what they already have on board to be published. If you’re lucky and have a great book that needs re-wiring to accomodate their needs, they may ask you to revise, maybe even before they offer a contract. I’ve had that happen. I did the revisions. I sold the book.

If you’re one of the lucky ones who winds up with a contract, it’s a good idea to just go ahead and give them what they want even if you have to rewrite the majority of your book, and you may have to do exactly that to fit into the market they want to hit with your book.

Even if you have to change the personality of your heroine or hero. Even if you have to add new scenes or delete scenes you love, because publishers and agents don’t ask for revisions just for the hell of it. They ask for them in order to make a book that they see great financial potential in more marketable.

So in answer to the original question, “What do I do when I disagree with my editor’s revision requests?” my answer will always be: Do them. Sit there and cry while you do them if you must, but do them.

On a lighter note, Count Babbalallapallozo read my 100 Things page a couple of months ago and found out I always wanted to be a Broadway singing and dancing star, so he’s arranged for a big NY choreographer to spend the weekend with us in NY, teaching me how to sing and dance. It’s obvious, even to the Count, that I need some serious help there. We’ll be heading for New York, staying in a luxury hotel, seeing a couple of shows, dining out at some five star restaurants, and in general having a great time. We would have left sooner, but Beth is working on…yes…revisions, and you know how she is, she wants me here every minute of the time she’s working. Well, somebody’s got to do it.

So ta ta for now, I’m sorry it took so long to get today’s blog up, but you know how it is when you’re…gasp!…Doing…Revisions.

I Love Y’all, and thanks SO much for stopping by. Come back soon, ya hear me?

The Hotclue, who will soon know exactly how to at least do the soft shoe shuffle. Or whatever they call it. Don’t y’all just LOVE the Count for thinking of this?

Ah, the GLAMOROUS Life of a Published Author!

You’d love to know what it’s really like, wouldn’t you. Ah, the life of an author. Press conferences. Calls from publishers and agents who are trying to steal you away. Champagne. Caviar. Designer clothes. Flights across the country accompanied by a personal handler who takes care of everything.

Appearances on the Imus in the Morning Show and Good Morning America (in that order, otherwise Don Imus gets his knickers in a tangle and he might say you’re fat after you leave the studio).

Lying on the sofa eating healthy snacks while you dictate into a machine, which your secretary will transcribe into Pulitzer-winning literary masterpieces.

Right?

Not even close.

As her alter ego who knows everything she does, allow me to describe Beth Anderson’s typical morning for you:

She wakes up far too early because the cats are hungry and walking on her head.

Gets up, slips on sweats and socks if it’s hot and the air conditioner is on. Slips on sweats and socks if it’s not hot and the air conditioner is not on.

Makes coffee, then feeds the cats. To give them and her credit, they’re trained to sit there with their bibs on, holding their forks, while she gets the coffee going.

Maybe watches fifteen minutes of Imus on MSNBC. Loves it, but she has too much to do, can’t spare the time today.

Notices that Beemer, her boy cat who has a finicky stomach, isn’t eating. He’s lying by his food bowl looking completely disgusted, not to mention mortally wounded that she would even *think* of giving him this horrible stuff to eat.

Which he loved three days ago.

Cleans out his food bowl.

Opens a different can of cat food for him, dumps it in his bowl. Watches to see if he’s eating.

He is–this time.

Puts away clean dishes from previous day.

Washes dishes from last night, after she drains the water she put dishes in last night, intending to wash them right away. (Yes, she has a dishwasher but doesn’t always use it. Right now it’s full of water from her most recent plumbing disaster and she *can’t* use it. In fact, it’s dead.)

Thinks about what brand of dishwasher she wants to buy to replace it after she drains the water out, which will consist of three huge bath towels and an industrial-size mop.

Mercifully puts that out of her mind.

Vacuums all floors because her critique group is meeting here tonight, but first picks up two paper clips and a milk bottle ring the cats have been playing with overnight.

Cleans out the cats’ litter box.

Sweeps floor around the litter box.

Dodges while they all head for the litter box and watches while they all take turns, then drag more litter back out on the floor.

Cleans out the litter box again.

Sweeps around the litter box again.

Thinks about the cat pound for about thirty seconds, until one of them walks past her and thanks her for breakfast and the clean litter box by wrapping its tail around her leg and giving her a hug. She really is a sucker for cats.

Sits down at the kitchen table with her first cup of coffee to hopefully read at least a few pages of a highly recommended book by Lisa Gardner–excellent book, by the way. She’s dying to finish it. It isn’t happening today.

Stares at arc of a 105,000 word book sitting on the table that she has promised to review this month.

She’s a very slow reader. It won’t get done *this* month. Sometime in July, though. Good thing she works well under pressure.

Stares at another book, this one by Chris Roerden, that she’s dying to read, but which has just been moved to third place.

Stares at three-foot-high stacks of books by her friends she wants to read and at the rate she’s going, may never get to.

Gets up, goes to her computer read email.

On the way there, stares at bookshelves full of books she plans to read when she has time.

There isn’t much email yet except three bulletins from three major online news websites announcing that some prime minister in some obscure country she never heard of may resign.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Checks her website stats. This is a three-times-a-day deal. The woman is obsessed, but something’s working, her stats keep rising fast. Undoubtedly because of my blog.

Looks longingly at Yahoo Games’ 13 Solitaire Favorites link. She has yet to win more than once every three days or so.

Reluctantly passes for now.

Shuffles papers around for something she was supposed to have done in April, but forgot. (Now she’s waiting for information from several writers’ club members so she can get it done.)

At the rate they read and respond to their emails, that may never get done either.

Listens to see if husband is up yet. He’s not.

Good.

Time for more coffee while she opens manuscript she’s doing revisions on.

And all this is before 7 a.m., which I think is disgusting because I love to sleep late. She doesn’t, she often hauls me up early anyway. I have no idea why she puts me through this torture, unless it’s just that she likes my sparkling conversation.

I ask her what keeps her going with her writing, with so many interruptions all throughout her day.

She tells me this: “I love to write. I want to find out what happens in the story.”

What’re you gonna do, eh? I think she keeps hoping she’ll finally find the glamorous life of a writer she thought was going to happen, once upon a time, long, long ago in her fantasyland.

Far be it for me to discourage her, although I know better. I’m not saying a thing.

But I am heading off this morning on another trip with Count Babalallapaloozo, who has forgiven me for my temporary lapse with Kinky Friedman. After all, a trip to a Greek island and an $8,000 ermine and leather sports jacket to protect me from the Chicago winter weather is nothing to sneeze at, right?

Ta ta for now, folks. Love y’all, and thanks so much for stopping by!

The Hotclue