November 17, 2007

HOTCLUE THE NASCAR BABE, THAT’S ME!!!

Okay, I’ll admit it. You heard it here first. I’m a JIMMIE JOHNSON NASCAR groupie. I have become a salivating, jumping off the sofa and screaming through every lap, tungsten-steel-hard-core NASCAR racing fan.

I’m even thinking about springing for a Jimmie Johnson sweatshirt, and if (IF???) he wins the championship and breaks Jeff Gordon’s record of four straight wins in the trophy races this upcoming Sunday, I’ll have to ask Count Baballalapaloozo to buy me an entire wardrobe ’cause those Nascar clothes are pricey. Nice, but WHOO HOO pricey!

It’s the Count’s fault anyway, he took me to one of the races over the summer, I got one look at Jimmie Johnson, who passed close enough by me that I could almost touch his gorgeous, tight little butt, and I fell in lust. Good GOD, Did I Ever!

I didn’t touch him though, his extremely lovely wife (I gotta admit this is true) was with him, so I left him alone. But I can dream, can’t I?

Yanno, it’s not so much his astonishing good looks, because NASCAR drivers are all, by nature, good looking and sexy, a girl’s wet dream every Sunday afternoon. I haven’t seen a single one I’d kick out of my gold-lined faux lepoardskin sleeping bag.

In Jimmie’s case, it’s the way he drives. He’s sneaky and he’s smart, the smartest one in the Nascar league, far as I can see anyway, although that might be colored by my overwhelming lust–er–admiration of his tight little butt. (OMIGOD, he is SO cute!)

Please, Santa, PLEASE put Jimmie Johnson in my panty hose this year for Christmas. The ones I’m wearing on Christmas Eve, okay? His wife would never know, right? How could she, when Beth swears I’m just a figment of her imagination.

Don’t believe her, folks. I’m as real as they come.

I’m probably years behind everyone else discovering NASCAR. I do that because I’m so busy all the time and things just sort of pass me by. CD players were out for ten years before I bought one. DVD players, I have to refer to the written directions every time I use mine. I was years behind on buying one. So you can imagine my astonishment when I recently discovered NASCAR has been running for a lot of years. It’s way older than I am. I won’t speak for Beth, she keeps track of her own years, but this has been going on forEVER and it all just went right over my head.

No longer. The fun to me, besides all the good looking guys to look at, is watching, over time, all the different drivers’ styles and what it is that makes different drivers either win or lose. In Jimmie’s case, he hangs back and sneaks forward toward the end of the race. Others try that, but never with his panache. It’s just the way he does it. (I wonder if he’s that way when he makes love? There’s a thought…)

If y’all haven’t been watching NASCAR races because you’ve heard them referred to as Rednecks Only, that’s just not true. NASCAR racing is a billion dollar business. Watch it a few times, you’ll be as hooked as I am.

For now, GO, JIMMIE JOHNSON! Hotclue’s got your back!

Thank y’all for hanging in here with Beth and me over the past months. I wasn’t much help, honkin’ all over the world with Count Babbalallapaloozo, but I intend to help her out all I can from now on. Y’all know how helpful I CAN be, right?

Just remember, we love y’all, you KNOW we do, so come on back and see us again soon, ya hear me?

Love, Hotclue Herself, no matter what Beth says. 😉

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  1. Hots, I agree with you about good looking men. Two always seemed optimal to me!

    Hope Santa fills your wish list. Jimmie in your pantyhose would be very interesting.

    Reply

  2. Hey, Sloane, I’ll wear extra large ones on Christmas Eve just in case…

    So what’s/who’s on YOUR Christmas list?

    Love, Hotclue

    Reply

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